Gringo In Peru

Today we went out for Chifa. That’s a Peruvian only term for Chinese.

Vanessa says its better than American Chinese food. I’m not sold. It was definitely saltier than I’m used to. Wikipedia says soy sauce is the backbone of many Chifa dishes. My tongue agrees.

The translucent, yellow beverage you see isn’t tea or pee. It’s Inca Kola. No, it’s not made from Inca remains and its not a cola in the traditional sense. Inca Kola is like the national drink of Peru. You see it everywhere.

Table full of Chifa

There were “typical Peruvian” arts and crafts, herbal remedies of all sorts and more food.

V's Future is in the leaves

First the dough. Fry 'em up, then serve.

"pig" pile

Today I visited the school where I’ll be teaching 4th and 5th grade next week.

I’ve explained it before, but the campus is huge. It’s cut out of a mountain side and spread out. It resembles a small college campus than a private high school/elementary school.

Everyone was nice and thought I was enthusiastic about the job. At the school they’ve divided grades into cycles. I’m teaching 4th & 5th grade English and 4th grade social studies, which puts me in second cycle. Think of it like elementary, middle, high school except each cycle contains three grades.

During my visit I went over curriculum with the teacher. We looked at the books and she said its easy all you have to do is present the material. Presenting doesn’t intimidate me, discipline does. What will I do if the class gets out of hand?

We shall see. Tomorrow I’ll go to observe the students in class.

I experienced my first earthquake yesterday.

The windows shook a little bit, dogs started barking then the neighborhood was surrounded by an off-beat symphony of car alarms set off by the shake.

It was not much different than living at Grandma’s house in south Minneapolis when a plane would take off or come in for a landing at MSP.

In a couple of hours I head to school. I’ll meet with Charo (cuchi-cuchi?) the teacher I will be replacing. Today we talk, tomorrow I observe, Friday its my big teaching debut. I also have the interview with the principal tomorrow as well, I think. Nothing is really clear to me.

Last night we went to see “Zohan” at the neighborhood multi-plex.  The only differences were the previews were in Spanish and it was about $4 to get in. The movie itself was English with Spanish subtitles. When looking at movie listings here they say either SUB (subtitled) or DUB (dubbed in Spanish). Most are SUB, few are DUB. I’ve also noticed movies are about a month or two behind here. Zohan opened last week and this week’s anticipated debut is Hellboy 2.

It was another day of not much of anything for me in Peru.

The longer I’m here, the more it sets in I’ll be here a while and need to learn Spanish.

Months ago I shelled out the $500 for the complete Rosetta Stone Spanish course. I was excited and took to the lessons right away. The company claims its “dynamic immersion” software works lets you learn the same way you learned your mother tongue. You match words to pictures and eventually put them together into sentences that make sense. There seems to be a lot of emphasis on cooking and eating, which is good. The software engineers must not want anyone to starve during their adventures abroad.

At first it was easy. Then I just didn’t do it. I’d like to blame my overnight job for that. It’s hard to focus on a new language when your brain constantly felt like it was being run over by a MACK truck.

Now with all my free time, I’m starting it back up again. I’m kicking serious gringo poto memorizing words and the like. It’s putting everything together in a sentence that’s killing me. The program introduces congregations and linking verbs out of nowhere. I see Es and Hoy all the time, but I have no idea what they mean.

My scores on the lessons were good, then it came to the part where you are expected to put together what you learned. That was not fun. In the exercise, I was shown pictures in a scenario and expected to respond in sentences. I could get the words right, but not in a sentence form.

Spanish is hard and I won’t survive without it.

Today we went to the grocery store. While many packages are in English, everything surrounding them is not. Someday I’ll be in a store all by myself and that will not be fun.

Its a supermarket. Really, it looks and feels a lot like your favorite grocery store in the states, except its all en Espanol. That’s when it hit me. I’m in Peru and its time to get cracking on the Spanish.

Don’t worry you’ll be updated on my progress.

Today it’s Vanessa’s turn to win bread for the family.

She begins her long term subbing gig while I get to play lazy American son-in-law. 

One cultural thing I’ve noticed is everyone here wants to be an American. You would think with our current standing on the world stage that would not be the case. There is a lot of English here. Signs for many businesses are in both English and Spanish. There are TV channels here that show all your favorite American programming with Spanish subtitles. Although, many classic sitcoms are dubbed so are the cartoons like Simpsons and Family Guy. If you are wondering all your Disney Channel favorites are also dubbed, except the Jonas Brothers still sing in English. American music also dominates the radio airwaves, just like the states the soundtrack of supermarkets and department stores is 80’s pop.

The overall look of people also strikes me as American. Many try to look as Suburban White Bread as possible. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, cruise by a grade school about the time school is out and look at the moms pulling up in their mini-suvs and designer label clothes.

Speaking of cars, you don’t see a lot of American makes on the crazy roads. The majority are Japanese or Korean, with a few Chevys, Fords and Renaults thrown in the mix.

Saturday night Vanessa’s 16 year old sister had a few friends over. All they wanted to talk about was getting into an American College. One wanted to know the best school to get an MBA, which opens up another cultural difference. Here they don’t see college as a chance to get away and “find themselves”. Universities here are commuter schools, no dorms. Colleges are a more of a gateway to a professional career. Liberal arts are not stressed. Take Vanessa for example, she went to a teachers college, studied for three years and now she’s teaching. Double majors or minors are almost unheard of.

Ok, that’s enough for now. Sorry there aren’t any pictures today. Maybe later.

As promised here is a tour of our Peruvian home.

The front yard, pool and wall

The first thing this gringo noticed are the walls. Here in South America there are walls everywhere. No matter the quality of the neighborhood. Although, we were in Miraflores which is a very middle class suburb today and there you do see the occasional home without walls. Instead they have bars on the windows, like the convenience stores in bad neighborhoods.

If good fences make good neighbors what does a wall do?

When guests come over they ring a call box outside the garage door, like a secured apartment.

There are also guards every few blocks. We have one outside our window. From what I can tell they serve a few purposes, when you enter certain neighborhoods they lift a security bar to let you in. Further in the neighborhood, they just stand watch. Some homes actually have their own guards posted 24-7 to let people in and out.

The inside, outside garage

Another thing that’s different is the parking situation. As you can see once the door opens the cars go into a tuck-under type garage, yet it is not fully enclosed. Cars sit partially outside. On the front wall (not pictured) is a door that leads to the kitchen.

Inside its a lot like any home, there are bedrooms, living rooms, bathrooms etc. There is no carpet, the whole house is done in this tile that can be slippery when wet. Except for the stairs of death as mentioned in a previous post.

If you stay to the right you are fine.. but they get narrower as they spiral down. At first it was an adjustment for me. I just expected each stair to be a uniform length.

Stairs of death and tile floor

The white tile floor was also caused me some problems. In some areas you have to step up and down from room to room. Well, in the dark everything looks like it’s on the same plane. Thankfully this fat kid found his balance and there were no major spills.

The living room and dining room

The living room shot does not do the  home justice, but most of the outer walls on the main floor are tinted glass. That’s something you would never find in the Midwest. It is winter time here and the temps average around 65 degrees. Sure it gets a little cool at night, but the home is comfortable in the afternoons.

Today while in Miraflores we saw the ocean for the first time. People were not swimming, but a few brave souls were trying to surf.

In other picture related news if you would like a look at our wedding pics click here.

An ocean view

Food in Peru is tasty.

My first night we stopped at Tip Top.

Me at Tip Top

Its a burger joint much like a drive-in. There were two buildings, one was the kitchen the other was a typical fast food style restaurant, except there were waiters in green sport coats and bow ties.

Those who want car-side service, pull into the lot and turn on the hazard lights.

I had the hamburger and fries and a lucuma milk shake.

Lucuma is the national fruit of Peru, its kind of like a fig, but not really. The taste is hard to describe. The closest thing I can think of is caramel without the sugar. The milkshake was similar to McDonald’s, a cold, thick milk, not really ice creamy in texture and consistency.

Chicha Morada and Lucuma milkshake

The drink next to the milk shake is chicha. A purple corn Kool-Aid made with pineapple, clove, sugar and cinnamon. Chicha is sold everywhere and no two chicha’s are alike. Everyone has a chicha recipe. Bottles are sold at most stores, but that stuff is thick and generally not good.

The tip top burger was a lot like ours, still different. The bun was huge and the patty felt a lot like a sausage patty, processed and compressed.

Condements fall into the same category. Ketchup (its red, just not as sweet), mustard (once again, it tastes different), mayo (is lighter and is flavored with lime) and Aji (ah-hee). Aji is a yellow pepper that’s pureed and turned into a sauce. Restaurants always have aji on hand and most make the sauce themselves.

I’ve also had anticucho.. which is bull’s heart. The heart is usually marinated, cut up and served on a kabob with fries. Anticucho isn’t that bad it reminds me of a cheap cut of beef. Most places that serve anticucho also have rotisserie chicken which is excellent.

Anticucho, fries, corn and aji sauce

The Graning’s are now in Peru.

We’ve been here less than a day, still the idea of me staying here for six months has not sunk in yet.

Besides Spanish everywhere, the first thing this mild-mannered Midwesterners notice is the driving. The roads here are crazy, crowded, and stoplights are more of a concept than a function. Yet, somehow everyone gets where they are going. There is the occasional broken down car on the side of the road, but no accidents…yet.

A couple things at the airport really threw me for a loop.

Surprisingly, you can get a luggage cart for free. (F-R-double E are the three best letters in the alphabet). No condescending quarter “reward” for returning it.

V with cart fending off a Cell Phone Saleswoman

You do have to run the gauntlet of cell phone sales people. Right after clearing customs we were bombarded with young girls offering phones for rent. You don’t see that in the USA.

Getting through customs was easy. Besides standing in line and filling out a paper on the plane, all the border agents do is stamp your passport. Next to the stamp he or she literally writes next to it how long you can stay in the country. My tourist Visa will last 183 days, which is the most apparently allowed by Peruvian law. The length of stay is completely arbitrary. Sometimes its only 30, 60 or 90 days.

Before leaving the airport travelers have to press a button. If the light turns green, you can go. If the light turns red you go through a TSA style search. Once again, there is no real method behind this. We got the green light for our Peruvian adventure.

Parking at the airport was different too.. our ride literally parked in a lot across the street. No walking or an elevator to a ramp. There was a Ramada hotel in the parking lot too. You don’t see that at MSP.

So far the weather here is cool and humid. Highs and lows hover between 50-65. Remember this is winter in Peru so keep this in the back of your mind when you hit February.

Our house does not have heat, but it doesn’t feel too cold in here. It reminds me of being at the cabin in spring.

My biggest problem is the stairs. They are cut wedges making it easy to skip over them. Someday I’m going to land flat on my big fat American ass. That will not be sweet.

Mita cuts a Pina in the kitchen

I’d include more pictures, but the lack of sunshine makes the house hard to shoot. Even with a flash most shots were dark without the benefit of a natural light source.

I’ve also taken pictures of the meals I’ve had, but food will be tomorrow’s story. I’ve had a few crazy things, not Chef Andrew strange, but nothing you would find on an Applebee’s menu.

It gives me something to write about tomorrow.

So far my gut has avoided what I like to call “Inca revenge.” We’ll see how long that lasts.

It seems my big TV debut was a hit.

If you haven’t seen it, watch it before uncle Rupert pulls it from “the internets”.

Tonight I had Tum Rup Thai with some pals, then we had ice cream.

It reminded me of my trips to Minneapolis during my stint in Sioux Falls. I used to make it a point to have Thai, since Mexican was about as ethnic as the Empire got.

Now I could have it everyday, but don’t.

If you are ever in Minneapolis and crave Thai, visit Tum Rup. It is one of the best.

The Moorhead Gang

In the picture from right to left

Feir, Gordy, Joe, Me, Sherman.

Not pictured is Joe’s wife Tara. She and daughter Sophie had to leave early after an explosive poo incident just moments after this shot was taken.

Good times, good people, good poo.

The move is now over!

Honestly it seemed like a bit of a clusterf**k. After nine moves in 10 years, this one seemed so disorganized. Thankfully we had some really great help.

I’d post a few pictures, but (most of us) were moving. For one guy I have way too much stuff. Vanessa and I made so many trips to goodwill that I thought a lot of the crap was gone. Then when we got to Buffalo Storage (my friend Joe’s place) there were boxes I literally hadn’t seen in years. Most full of junk that would be better off in a landfill.

When we come back to the states I’ll have to spend a day in Joe’s basement with a dumpster.

Us honkies have way too much stuff

Friday was my big send off from FOX9.

It started with an on-air interview.

And ended with a party.

Dawn, Maggie and Kalli, I’m sorry you missed the bowling fun and photo evidence you were there.

The Fox9 Going away crew

Big news today I sold the car. My grandma’s next door neighbor bought it for his daughter. He got good ‘ol Whitey for a steal, but he needed to go.

I wish I could keep the 2004 Civic, but the bank owns it and I can’t afford it.

So, let’s remember the three years of service Whitey gave us.

Old Whitey 2005-2008