Gringo In Peru

A few weeks ago my mom sent us some books through the good old U.S. mail.

The books are now in Peru, but I doubt we’re ever going to see them.

Don’t blame the USPS. They arrived safe and sound they are currently stuck in libro limbo.

About a week ago we got a letter from the Peruvian postal service saying the package could not be delivered to the house. Instead it had to be picked up at the main post office. The post office in a suburb that’s not totally far away, but not close either. So, Vanessa and Mita made the journey one afternoon while I was at the English Factory.

At the post office, she found out he package wasn’t coming home with her. Turns out my mom labeled the package with our last names, like you address Christmas cards, (Think “The Andersons”) instead of using one of our names. Because of this the clerk refused to give V the box, instead she came home with a pile of forms we have to fill out, get notarized, send back to my parents, wait for approval then (hopefully) we can get the package.

I’ll save you the boring details, but if we follow through with all the paperwork it will take about a month and about $40 in miscellaneous fees.

Sorry Mom, we won’t be picking up the package. It’s not worth it, for the price, time and effort we can buy new books when we get home. It’s not your fault, chalk one up to Peruvian bureaucracy.

The lesson for the rest of you: send international packages with complete names, preferably as they appear on the receiver’s ID card. If you don’t, who knows what kind problems you might face.

Random Notes:

• Sorry the blog continues to be neglected. I had a few extra days off from the English factory and my Aunt was here for a visit. There hasn’t been much computer time lately. In a related story, she left last night for Baltimore and is now stuck in Atlanta until Tuesday. Thankfully she knew about this before take-off and cashed in her hotel bonus points for two nights at the airport Holliday Inn. It beats spending two days in the airport. That’s just another example of how powerful the Internet is and how quickly we’ve adapted to it. None of the above scenario would have been possible 10-15 years ago.
• Speaking of the English Factory. Two of my classes were reassigned, so I’m working less this month. Which I don’t mind.
• This week we have our big appointment at the Embassy. We should get our Visa and find ourselves back in the U.S. sometime this year. I’ll keep you posted.

One of my five classes this month has been an adventure.

This class is full of children aged 8 to 13. Boy is there a difference between the maturity and energy level of an 8 year old and a 13 year old. Besides the language barrier, I’ve got some major behavior gems.

One student, whom we’ll call Jimmy, was a peach from the start. He wouldn’t do his work and if he’s not paying attention, he’s wandering around the class looking for trouble. A few of the older girl students have noticed this and decided to use Jimmy as their errand boy. He’s always running to serve at their beck and call, playing messenger and throwing away their garbage.

Jimmy is a little prince compared to a boy we’ll call Bobby. Bobby crawls on the floor, follows me around like a shadow and is always asking “what time is it” in Spanish.

Needless to say, what started out as a good class quickly zoomed out of control. It got so bad I had to call in back-ups, my bosses. Once I explained the situation, they attended my next class. They could see that I was prepared, and doing everything by the book. They also witnessed the major behavioral issues contaminating the learning environment.

It’s sad. Out of 25 kids in class there are my problem children Jimmy and Bobby, four who are really good students, ten who show real potential and would thrive in a better situation. The rest obviously don’t want to be there and will likely fail.

My bosses were impressed I was able to conduct some kind of class in that room without totally losing it. It may have been a while since I was their age, but I do remember the teachers that blow up usually don’t help matters. Plus, I would be yelling at them in another language. Their English level is so low I’d be just entertaining myself.

Needless to say the month is almost over. My supervisors have promised me I won’t get a class at that age level again.

A boy can only dream.

V seems to think our bed has fleas.

Last night, she checked our sheets and there were little spots of blood, which V says means we’ve been invaded.

She also has a bunch of little bites along her ankles and lower leg. I don’t know what to think because I haven’t been bitten.

She claims I picked the fleas up while riding the bus.

That I could believe. The buses aren’t clean and you see a lot of crazy stuff.

Beggars come on all the time telling sad stories about how their families need money and they can’t work because of some ailment. Sometimes they are selling something like candy or bracelets. Most of the time they stick out a dirty hand and hope for some loose change. The most disgusting or disturbing example of this I’ve seen was a guy who finished his story, lifted his shirt to reveal a colostomy bag. You don’t see that on you average city bus.

Now that its summer is here you see a lot more kids selling candy. Today two kids got on at one stop with their sad story and candy. When they got off at the next stop, two more kids got on, with a sad family story and the same candy. I’ve been told while many of these kids are poor, they are also exploited by their families or gangs to get money from bus riders. The parents don’t work, they use the kids as a way to scrape together a few sols everyday. Sad.

In happier news Metallica stopped in Lima last night. I didn’t go. I had to work. When don’t I? This morning there were a few students in class rocking brand new Metallica t-shirts. It reminded me of a time when I went to concerts like Metallica (whom I’ve seen twice). Thanks to the internet and camera phones YouTube is littered with video evidence of their performance last night.

So I’ll leave you with one of the better videos I found on-line. Enjoy some “Enter Sandman”

As ABBA said it is indeed a rich man’s world.

While we are both plotting our return, we’ve been thinking about cash. Mainly my stupid school loan. It’s only $105/month, but its draining us. Big time. I’ve been spending my off hours looking into options. This also proved to be a good exercise looking at my student loan situation.

A few caveats before we continue. I realize this whole blog post may seem petty with people losing their homes, losing jobs and scraping what they can just to survive. I also know many of you loyal readers have student loans and payments that pale in comparison to mine.

Here in Peru this wouldn’t be an issue. There’s no such thing as a student loan. If you can’t afford school you don’t go. Colleges, institutes and universities base tuition on household income. I’ve heard stories of people hiding money or fancy cars to guarantee a lower tuition.

What really depressed me about this student loan fact finding mission is my payback date. I graduated in 1999. My loan amount was less than $12K. I’ve been making timely payments ever since. After all these years of being a good citizen, my loan will be paid off in 2017. That’s discouraging.

I was a little shocked at all of the non-payment options. It’s a sign of the times I guess. With so many options, I didn’t know what to choose or what form to download.

Thus, I decided to call the loan company. Keep in mind, toll-free calls are toll calls here in Peru. Which isn’t that big of a deal, we pay like 7 cents a minute. What is frustrating is a wading through a never-ending series of menus to finally reach a recording estimating my wait time at 41 minutes. So, I sent an e-mail. Which is what I should have done in the first place, but actually talking to someone seemed good at the time.

All this makes me almost look back at my college career with a little hindsight. Not the cost, not the five years, but the career choice. If I had went down another road, not slaving away in the TV for peanuts for so many years, I may have this loan taken care of. Then again, I might have been saddled with even more debt or responsibilities making it hard to move to South America. I’ve always lived for experience, for that alone, I’m a rich man. Unfortunately, experience isn’t paying the student loan bill.

So, I’ll continue waiting for some answers and options.

In the meantime how about those Vikings?

(How do you say exploited in Spanish?)

Sorry kids for the delay, I’m a bit busy these days.

It’s summer time here south of the equator, you would think because its summer things would be slow around the old English factory.

It’s not.

I’m teaching 10 hours a day, plus another 8 on Saturday. Two of my classes are new, so I spend a lot of time planning them. Once you factor in assignments and grades I sometimes feel like my head is on another planet.  All this leaves me with precious little e-mail and blog time. Sorry.

Now, I know “real” teachers spend a lot more time working. But they get three months off and they are salaried. We are paid by the hour (and in case you are wondering) no overtime. In fact the idea of time and a half doesn’t exist here. Do you think we’d be putting in 58 hour work weeks if there was OT?

If I sound like I’m complaining, I am. But I’m just echoing the feelings around the teachers room. We are all tired and getting borderline burnt out and we’re barely half-way though the month. We’re so busy this month that we’re short substitutes forcing some people to teach 12-14 hours in one day.

My hope is things will slow down a bit next month, because I need a day off. Not a mental health day. I have some important business to attend to, an appointment at the embassy. A visa is in our future.

You may remember, its been a year since our last visit, so this is really good news. We’ve been printing out TONS of paperwork for our interview. So much so, we ran out of ink.

Of course, this is a real good sign for us. If a visa is granted, we would have six months to leave the country. I only say “if” because there is a paragraph in our invitation letter with the standard legal mumbo jumbo not to make travel plans before your appointment and that getting a visa is not guaranteed. Although, I don’t see any reason why we wouldn’t get a visa.

When are we coming home? First, we need the visa. Nobody knows when it will exactly happen. We’ve been told anywhere from two weeks to three months. Then we have six months to leave.

We will be back in the U.S.A. sometime in 2010. When, I don’t know. I’m staying out of the prediction game. Everytime I make one, it turns out wrong. All I know is our time in Peru is dwindling.

The Minnesota Vikings are on Monday Night Football tonight. I’m not quite sure if I’m going to watch.

Here in Peru proper football (what we call soccer) is king and the NFL isn’t even on the South American sports radar. However, the ESPN family of networks televises Monday and Sunday Night Football here. It must be because the European premier soccer league games are in the afternoons because of the time differences. That’s the only logical explanation I can think of.

Since I work every Monday evening, I can only get my football fix on Sunday nights. If you are a casual Vikings fan you know the last two times the Vikings have (dis)graced Sunday Night Football they’ve stunk the place up. Yes, I’ve watched. You would think after decades of disappointment that comes with being a Vikings fan I would learn to stay away. Like a drug addict, I keep hopping back on the wagon.

My addiction isn’t as raging as it once was. There was a time in the not-so-distant past when the NFL would wake me up on a Sunday and put me to bed. Every Sunday was a non-stop orgy of football and related programming. Then I moved for a job that forced me to work Sundays. Two years later I moved again, for an overnight job that forced me to attempt sleeping on Sunday afternoons. Now I live in Peru where American Football doesn’t matter.

It’s been a good, gradual withdrawal from the NFL. I’m still a fan, but it doesn’t come close to running my life. I’ve realized there are better things to do, like spend time with my wife.  Maybe we’ll go to a movie, sit outside and enjoy the weather or I’ll watch the game.

Ok, Christmas has come and gone. I realize that, but its never too late to talk about the big holiday.

Ours was pretty relaxed. It wasn’t the circus atmosphere of last year. Just me, V, Mita, BonBon, Andrea, V’s former colleague Christine and the our new American friends from across the street.

Somehow Vanessa had somehow become neighborly acquaintances with the mom/wife Joy shortly after they moved in. The husband/father, Kirby, works for the U.S. embassy. They have a 13-year-old daughter Lilly and they all joined us for dinner. Because of Kirby’s work they have literally lived around the world. Besides Peru they’ve had two to three year stops in Belarus, Indonesia, Thailand and Canada. They also have to report back to Washington D.C. for a few months at a time between locales.

They told us the Embassy here has an employee only store that sells many American products. Joy brought us brown sugar, molasses and shortening from this store so we could make gingersnap cookies. Brown sugar and molasses are not sold in Peruvian grocery stores. Shortening is available, but you really have to look for it.

With the idea of access to this “American Store” dancing like sugar plums in my head, I had to ask what else it sells. Honestly, I can’t think of any American food stuff that I really miss, but I might suddenly miss it if I knew I could get it. Turns out its mostly boxed mixes, laundry detergent and some stateside junk food. Nothing too crave inducing. As I’ve said before, there is a lot of American junk food for sale here and Peruvian companies make enough junk to satisfy any craving the need for sweet or salty snacks.

So that was Christmas. Vanessa got me some t-shirts and underwear (yes, I’m old) and I offered her a romantic night out.

Actually, I had asked for a handful of what I’ll call “maintence items” for the holiday. It included such fabulous items as: comfortable black shoes for work, a trip to the dentist, renewing my Peruvian residency card and new glasses. Glasses and shoes check. My residency will be renewed this week. A trip to the dentist is pending for early 2010, I think. Great list, I know. I’m old.

The holiday hits just keep on coming here below the equator. Next week we’re heading to the beach for some R&R. then it’s back to work for me. My wife has some tutoring gigs lined up to keep her busy, but not too busy.

Happy new year!

As loyal followers of this blog know I ride the bus a lot. It’s the only way a gringo like me can get around the developing world.

It’s reasonably safe, sometimes clean, always crowded herky-jerky road-based roller coaster ride that is the preferred method of transportation for most Peruvians. Besides the surroundings, grime and the Spanish soundtrack one big difference is how you pay for the ride.

There are no machines to take your money. Instead, there’s a man or woman who works the door and charges you depending on how far you go. It’s a cash only business that’s 90% in coins.

Here in Peru coins rule. The 1, 2 and 5 Peruvian Nuevo Sol are coins. This dependence on heavy, metal money created a bit of a culture shock for this American. As a rule, Americans don’t like coins. We have paper money for a reason. It’s easy to carry. Your hands (usually) don’t smell or get dirty after using it.

Peruvian Money the coins on the bottom (from L-R) 5, 2, 1 sols 50, 20, 10, 1 centimos

If we have coins we don’t keep them. If they’re pennies, we leave them in the “take a penny, leave a penny” tray at the check-out. Things don’t work that way here for many reasons. First, the coin tray would likely get stolen. Second, you never get 1 centimos as change.

One and five centimos coins are hard to come by. The 1 cent is this little nub of a coin that looks and feels like the toy money you give little kids. It’s super light and I’m sure with a big enough chomp anyone could bite it in half. The only place that gives you 1 centimos is the grocery store. Even there, they are tough to get. Most of the supermarkets ask you to round up your cash purchases up and donate the cents to charity.

Five centimos pieces may be even harder to find. There isn’t one in the picture I found.

As you can see, there are bills. They start at 10 and go up to 200 soles. You never see the 200 soles bill and chances are most stores won’t accept them anyways for fear that they are fake. In Lima 100 soles bills are common. Once you get outside of the city, trying to pass a 50 can sometimes prove difficult.

If you buy something on the street almost all the prices are in straight soles. Usually one or two soles. Maybe something might cost you 2.50, but the 50 cent piece is a handy coin to have.

Using coins for so many things was an adjustment. At first, it was difficult fishing haphazardly through pockets looking for the right coin. Then I discovered one vital accessory: the coin purse. I don’t think I ever carried a coin purse before. Now its essential. Most people have one or if they don’t their wallets have a coin pouch.

Who knows if I’ll become a coin fan when we return. What can you really buy with American coins anyway? A gumball, a newspaper, a candy bar?

It’s been a while since a new blog post has come your way. I would apologize, but there’s no real reason to say sorry.

My average day consists of getting up, going to work, coming home, going back to work, going to bed and waking up the next day to do it all again.

Not to exciting.

One bright spot this month is I do have four classes. This means extra $$$. Last month I only had three.  Most of my colleagues have three this month. Nobody can really explain the rhyme or reason behind this. The scheduling seems to defy any logic.

I don’t have to work tomorrow because it is a national holiday celebrating the immaculate conception. Jesus was conceived on December 8th and born on December 25th. Humm…

Now, I know both celebrations are approximations. Some biblical historians believe Christ was born sometime in the summer, but nobody really knows. Although, you would think somewhere in Catholic Church history a cadre of cardinals and bishops would have gotten together to pick a better date for either the conception or the birth of the Savior. The math doesn’t make sense. Either Jesus spent almost a year in the womb or two weeks. Humm….

Last night I was super excited to finally watch the Minnesota Vikings on TV. Since they were on Sunday Night Football, ESPN would carry the game. Needless to say the Vikings lost. That doesn’t really disappoint me though. While I still love the Vikings, I consciously decided a few years ago they would no longer be the center of my world. That said, it would have been real nice to see a win. Proving to this fan that this team is as good as all the hype I’ve been reading about. Oh well, another let down. It’s not the first, nor will it be the last.

Contrary to popular opinion, people in South America don’t care about the NFL. I also find the NFL’s “one billion people watch the Super Bowl” factoid dusted off every year to be a bit dubious. Outside of American ex-pats who want to see the big game, there aren’t a lot of casual American Football outside the borders. Proper football, or as we would say soccer, is huge. ESPN shows games from all the premier leagues, all around the world. Tennis is also big. The NBA has a following. Hockey fans, don’t even ask.

Soccer is so big that tomorrow is the biggest game of the soccer season here in Peru. Actually, many of my students think they have the day off for the big game. Alianza takes on Universitario. Alianza and “The U” are the two most successful teams in the Peruvian Soccer League. Both have won over 20 championships. Blood will likely be spilled both on and off the field.

We won’t be anywhere near the game. Mainly because we don’t care. There are people in this house who care and will watch, but V and I will be relaxing wondering why the day has to end.

I’m now an uncle/godfather.

Zoe Alyssa was born early Friday morning sometime when you were sleeping and I was riding a dirty bus to work.

Mom, baby and dad are doing fine and are already home.

Baby Zoe

I’ll officially be the godfather when the baby is baptised. That day is to be determined since we are still waiting for V’s visa. When that date will come is anyone’s guess. We got an e-mail from the lawyer last week that I need to sign more papers and send them stateside. The paperwork never ends!

Yesterday we had Thanksgiving here in Peru complete with turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie, which my father-in-law kept calling chunkeen chai.

Fun times.